Funny Quotes

"Always remember you are absolutely unique. Just like everybody else."- Anonymous ...
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"Don't worry if plan A fails. There are 25 more letters in the alphabet." Anonymous ...
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A List of Humorous Quotes about Life Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life so as to keep going. With many humorous sayings in the world, we have collected some funny quotes about life from a wide range of celebrities, thinkers and famous writers. The following are ...
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"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain Quotes Born November 30, 1835 ...
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"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe Quotes Born January 19, 1809 ...
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I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. - Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes Born May 22, 1859 ...
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"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." - Thomas Edison, Born February 11, 1847 ...
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"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas Edison, Born February 11, 1847 ...
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"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice." - Bill Cosby Born July 12, 1937 ...
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"By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out." - Richard Dawkins, Born: March 26, 1941 ...
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"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain, Born November 30, 1835 ...
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"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." - Marilyn Monroe, Born June 1, 1926 ...
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"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?" - Jerry Seinfeld, Born April 29, 1954 ...
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"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live." - George Carlin, Born May 12, 1937 ...
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"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." - George Carlin, Born May 12, 1937 ...
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"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac." - George Carlin, Born May 12, 1937 ...
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"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin, Born May 12, 1937 ...
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"Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car." - Garrison Keillor, August 7, 1942 ...
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"No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it." - Dave Chappelle, Born: August 24, 1973 ...
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"What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence." - Christopher Hitchens, Born: April 13, 1949 ...
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"To the dumb question, 'Why me' the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply, 'Why not'" - Christopher Hitchens, Born: April 13, 1949 ...
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"I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor." - Christopher Hitchens, Born: April 13, 1949 ...
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"A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice." - Bill Cosby, Born: July 12, 1937 ...
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"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." - Albert Einstein, Born: March 14, 1879 ...
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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss, Born: March 2, 1904 ...
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“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.” - Orson Welles, Born: May 6, 1915 ...
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“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” - Albert Einstein, Born: March 14, 1879 ...
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“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” - Orson Welles, Born: May 6, 1915 ...
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